Jokes on Hitler are frequently thought to be insulting, yet other individuals find them to be hilarious. Some common jokes about Hitler include references to his mustache, his hatred of Jews, and his propensity for violence.
Jokes about Hitler are a popular style of humor that deals with the atrocities performed by Adolf Hitler and the Nazi dictatorship. They can be amusing or bleak, but they all share one common theme: the insanity of Nazi Ge0rmany and its leaders.
Jokes on Hitler are a feature of any good party, but what would life be like if the Nazi dictator was genuinely funny? Luckily, some comedians have discovered a method to make horrible jokes and create entertaining movies that will undoubtedly put a smile on everyone’s face.
Hilarious Jokes On Hitler
Here are some Hilarious Jokes On Hitler.
Q: What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn’t?
A: Ended a race.
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Q: Why did Hitler commit suicide?
A: He got the gas bill.
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Q: Why did Hitler stop playing golf?
A: “He kept getting stuck in the bunker.”
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QWhat did Hitler say when he was blindfolded?
A: “I can Nazi!”
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Q: What is Hitler’s least favourite month?
A: “Jewly.”
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Q: What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?
A: “How much did the haulla-cost?”
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Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2?
“He killed Hitler.”
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait… never mind. “
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What is Hitler’s favourite game?
“Nahtzee”
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Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
“He hated the poles.”
“God said the first person to kill Hitler goes to heaven. Hitler: Kills himself. “
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “mother-in-law”, you get the words “Woman Hitler.”
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Why is Hitler never invited to BBQs? He always burns the franks.
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Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy. After all, he did kill Hitler.
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I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “mother-in-law”, you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
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What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race…
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Who’s the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler.
I kind of feel sorry for Hitler. Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
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If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
A: Two shots to the lawyer.
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One of Hitler’s assistants says to him one day, “Sir, we’re mining too many useless ores.” Hitler replies, “Well, mine less.” A grammar nazi then bursts through the door and shouts, “Mine FEWER!” Hitler looks up and asks, “Yes?”
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What was Hitler’s favourite drink? A: Congregated Jews
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What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday? A: A simple-bake oven.
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What was Hitler’s favourite toy as a kid? An Easy-Bake Oven
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Why are Germans, bad cooks?
A: The only good one committed suicide.
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What political system would he have come up with if Hitler had been a feminist?
A: It’s a dickhatership!
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Why did Hitler kill himself?
He saw his gas bill.
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Why do German shower heads have 11 holes? A: The Jewish people have ten fingers.
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I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler. He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.
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Hitler: I asked for a glass of juice, not to gas the Jews!
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Will you party with me like you just don’t care? Raise your hand 45 degrees in the air!
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What was the one thing Hitler did well?
A: He should commit suicide.
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Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe. Chuck said, “I don’t like the juice.” Hitler heard him wrong.
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The real reason Hitler killed himself is that he found out that Chuck Norris was Jewish.
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A: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.
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Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.
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Do you know how Hitler tied his tennis shoes?
in little Nazi’s.
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The true reason why the Nazi’s lost the war was that they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
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I guess the only problem I have with the world now is all the Dutchbags.
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Does anyone want to try the ALS gas bucket challenge?
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Knock, knock? Who’s there? Hitler! Hitler who? You know, the man who kills Jews?
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What do you call Hitler in a pool?
Adolfin.
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I went to an auction today where they were selling a cheese grater once owned by both Hitler and Osama Bin Laden.
It was the lesser of two evils.
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One of Hitler’s assistants says to him one day, “Sir, we’re mining too many useless ores.”
Hitler replies, “Well, mine less.”
One of his other assistants, a stickler for correct grammar, then shouts, “Mine FEWER!”
Hitler looks up and asks, “Yes?”
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Hitler jokes are rude. Anne Frank-ly, we don’t care.
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I kind of feel sorry for Hitler.
Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
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Why did Hitler hate golf?
because he ended up in the bunker.
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I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler.
He sure was a popular guy.
Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.
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I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “mother-in-law”, you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
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What’s Hitler’s favourite letter?
Not Z.
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Enough with the Hitler jokes. They make me feel Fuhrer-ious.
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We really should erect a statue of the guy who killed Hitler.
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If you don’t think history is amusing, then you’ve clearly never seen Hitler in shorts.
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What’s the difference between you and Hitler?
“Hitler knew when to kill himself.”
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What’s the difference between Hitler and a feminist?
“At least Hitler actually did something.”
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When the teacher calls on you and asks you, how many people did Hitler kill?
“One, he killed himself.”
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What did Hitler give his niece for her birthday?
“His gas bill was too high.”
“Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.”
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What is the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
“Both were good at starting wars; the only difference was that Hitler knew when to kill himself afterward.”
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Why couldn’t Hitler eat oranges?
“Because he hated the juice.”
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Why can’t Hitler play baseball?
“It’s three rumps and you’re out.”
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What does Hitler sleep with?
“Mein Kampforter.”
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Hitler wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.
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Hitler and Goering are standing at the top of Berlin’s tallest radio tower.
Hitler says he needs to do something that will brighten up the German people.
Goering says, “Why don’t you jump off?”
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It’s just been discovered that, as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games.
Mein Kraft.
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Say what you like about Hitler, the man had a ball.
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Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff and says, “I want you to organise the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”
Everyone looks around the table, and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Führer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”
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I suffer from schizophrenia, which results in delusions that I’m either Adolf Hitler or Winston Churchill.
I suppose I’m my own worst enemy.
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Hitler must have been a really bad golfer.
Fancy committing suicide just because he was trapped in a bunker?
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It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Is it legal to forbid Germans from making jokes?Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
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I was named after Hitler.
Chronologically, that is.
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Hitler: “It’s getting cold. What is the weather forecast? “
“Hail, Hitler.”
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Bad Hitler puns are infuriating.
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Hitler went to a fortune teller and asked her, “On what day will I die?”
The fortune teller told him that he would die on a Jewish holiday.
“Why are you so sure of that?” demanded Hitler.
“Any day,” she replied, “on which you die will be a Jewish holiday.”
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What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn’t?
“Ended a race.”
Why is Hitler never invited to backyard barbecues??
“He always burns the franks.”
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What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
“Usain Bolt can finish a race…”
“I kind of feel sorry for Hitler.
“Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.”
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I went to an auction today where they were selling a cheese grater once owned by both Hitler and Osama Bin Laden.
“It was the lesser of two evils.”
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Hitler: “It’s getting cold. What is the weather forecast? “
“Hail, Hitler.”
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Hitler went to a fortune teller and asked her,
“On what day will I die?”
The fortune teller told him that he would die on a Jewish holiday.
“Why are you so sure of that?” demanded Hitler.
“Any day,” she replied, “on which you die will be a Jewish holiday.”
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What do Michaelangelo and Hitler have in common?
“They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.”
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Why doesn’t Hitler take cabs?
He is more of an Ubermensch.
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How did Hitler tie his shoes?
In knotsies
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What do you call Hitler’s speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous
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Why couldn’t Hitler eat oranges?
because he hated the juice.
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What did Hitler call his favourite chair?
Mein Kampfy Chair.
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Why can’t Hitler play baseball?
It’s three rummys and you’re out.
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What does Hitler sleep with?
Mein Kampforter
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What’d they call Adolf Hitler when he lost his job?
Hitler, Laidoff,
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Son: Hey, Dad, can you explain “germination”?
Dad: Well, son. Hitler wanted to make the whole world a germ.
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What planet did Hitler hate the most?
Jewpiter.
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Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe. Chuck said, “I don’t like the juice.”
“Hitler heard him wrong.”
“The true reason why the Nazi’s lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.”
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If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
“Shoot the lawyer twice.”
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One of Hitler’s assistants says to him one day, “Sir, we’re mining too many useless ores.”
Hitler replies, “Well, mine less.”
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A grammar nazi then bursts through the door and shouts, “Mine FEWER!”
Hitler looks up and asks, “Yes?”
Why are Germans bad cooks?
“The only good one killed himself.”
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What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday?
“An easy-bake oven.”
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Why do German shower heads have 11 holes?
“Jews have 10 fingers.”
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What’s the difference between Hitler and you?
“One didn’t keep posting on Twitter about killing themselves.”
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait… never mind. “
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What’s the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul?
At least Hitler had respect for the Japanese!
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A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler but missed. Then Adolf replied, “Oh shoot, I did not see that coming!”
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Why was the chef fired?
“He took cooking advice from Hitler!”
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Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts?
“He only had one.”
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Why was Hitler bad at math?
“He could only count to nein.”
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What is Hitler’s favourite food?
“A hindenburger”
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Why does Hitler drink milk?
“Because he doesn’t like juice.”
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What car does Hitler drive?
“A fuhrerri.”
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What was Hitler’s lucky number?
“Nein”
What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him?
“Führereous”
Hitler was a dictator!
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What is Hitler’s favorite book?
“Hitler and the chamber of secrets”
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Conclusion
In conclusion, it is apparent that Adolf Hitler was not averse to a good joke. And although if many of his jokes may be outdated and insulting, they nonetheless provide a fascinating look into the thinking of one of history’s most notorious tyrants. So next time you find yourself in an embarrassing circumstance, try cracking a Hitler joke and see how people react.